I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize
