I think my fart just growled at me.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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