Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
