She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
im holly from the hills drunk
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
