When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize