he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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