I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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