I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Randomize
