ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize