So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
