Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
