i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
