Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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