why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
