I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Randomize
