You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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