someone threw a dead crab at me
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
