im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
