I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Randomize
