i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
