He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
