I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
