On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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