i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
