okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
