We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
