Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
