Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
