So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Randomize