I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Randomize
