a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize