whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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