let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Life is so much better after having sex.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
