I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
