yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
