why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
