I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
