hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
