textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
