I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize