spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
COCAINE IS GR8
Randomize
