we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize