so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
