Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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