There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
