if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
