i think my tv is drunk
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
