More tranny stories later!
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
