i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize