i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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