Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize