My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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