watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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