FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Randomize
