that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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