I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
