i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I'm getting married
To pizza
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Randomize
