fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
