he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
His hands were made for my vagina.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
