We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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